Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Sad little moment
Went over to my old home village today mainly to go to the dentist - Whilst I was there though I thought I'd go and visit Steve to say 'hello'
At first after his death I couldn't bear to go anywhere near the graveyard,, and then I couldn't bear to stay away - our village church has a closed graveyard which means no new burials unless one already owns a plot, but it was possible to have Steve's ashes buried there and a stone set in the ground.
What I hadn't realised though was that the ashes would be buried in a small coffin shaped casket nor that the burial of them woud be conductd as though it had been his body - foolishly I went on my own - so it was just me, Steve the Vicar and the undertaker -
However the graveyard itself is genuinely a place of great peace. I am not religious but it is immpossible not to be aware of the faith of so many generations of worshippers and believers and that in itself offers comfort.
Now my visits are more relaxed - i talk to Steve all the time at home so I don't need the graveyard to feel close to him, and in fact I no longer really feel him there anyway.
I made a promise both to him and to myself when he died that I would try to celebrate his life rather than to mourn his death and that I would carry him with me in my thoughts and in my heart.
It was such a lovely sunny day today and the grass around the graves had just been mowed. I noticed a new stone three down from Steve's a man born in 1924 -
Penny
At first after his death I couldn't bear to go anywhere near the graveyard,, and then I couldn't bear to stay away - our village church has a closed graveyard which means no new burials unless one already owns a plot, but it was possible to have Steve's ashes buried there and a stone set in the ground.
What I hadn't realised though was that the ashes would be buried in a small coffin shaped casket nor that the burial of them woud be conductd as though it had been his body - foolishly I went on my own - so it was just me, Steve the Vicar and the undertaker -
However the graveyard itself is genuinely a place of great peace. I am not religious but it is immpossible not to be aware of the faith of so many generations of worshippers and believers and that in itself offers comfort.
Now my visits are more relaxed - i talk to Steve all the time at home so I don't need the graveyard to feel close to him, and in fact I no longer really feel him there anyway.
I made a promise both to him and to myself when he died that I would try to celebrate his life rather than to mourn his death and that I would carry him with me in my thoughts and in my heart.
It was such a lovely sunny day today and the grass around the graves had just been mowed. I noticed a new stone three down from Steve's a man born in 1924 -
Penny
