Penny Jordan's Weblog

Alison in Australia

2005-03-28T20:21:00.000+01:00

Alison - you emailed me personally, thank you for that - but my reply to you has been returned as undeliverable.

Penny

Ralph/widows/writers

2005-03-26T08:47:00.000Z

On 'Being a Writer'

Woke up this morning to find a weblog comment from 'Ralph' criticising me for beginning, 'twelve consecutive paragraphs with the word widow'.

Mmmmmm where shall I start? Come on class. Hands up anyone who can explain why I did that?

For the benefit of any other 'Ralphs' out there, my repetitive use of the word 'widow' was a deliberate choice. Using a word repetitively in that way underlines its status (or in my case my status as a widow, because I was posting certain of my thoughts re widowhood.) It is often used to underline a derogatory attitude. Thus

Ralph unfortunately did not get the point.

Ralphs seldom do.

Ralphs could be the tunnel vision of the reading public.- its train spotters, and adenoidal heavy breathers.

etc etc.

However, if we wanted to turn Ralph (or indeed widows) into powerful figures commanding our respect, we could do so thus.

There's something about being a 'Ralph'; something that creates a subtle sense of respect and even awe in other people. I've seen it happen so many times. One day there they, are an ordinary human being just like the rest of us but then when they become 'Ralphed', suddenly everything changes. It starts slowly, almost imperceptibly, they begin receiving invitations from the high end friends of your friends, when you haven't, their lives shift up a gear, friends of yours who haven't so much as invited them to a barbeque before, suddenly starting asking you, both eagerly and anxiously, if you think that Ralph would like to join them at some high profile event.

etc etc.

This is a writing tool anyone can use to good effect - and not just in fiction. It works rather well in letters of complaint.

btw 'Ralph' I don't 'call' myself anything. My name is 'Penny' and I earn my living writing fiction. It is grammatically incorrect to use the phrase 'He is called' - It should be, 'his name is...' . If you were using the phrase 'call yourself a writer' as a form of 'slang', then, strictly speaking, you should have written 'call' yourself a writer?

Must go - my porridge will be getting cold.

Penny

Help for other writers - published and unpublished - my new venture

2005-03-19T08:48:00.000Z

I'm launching a new venture - and myweblog readers are the first to know about it.

From next month I shall be providing an on line 'bespoke' writing service via which I shall offer, 'writing' teaching, mentoring, brainstorming, and coaching sessions tailored to meet people's individual needs, whether that need is 'learning how to write' from beginning to end, or simply a quick fix for a writing problem.

For instance a mentoring package will include reading either a full book or the opening chapters thereof, on which I shall provide a typed report, plus suggestions for working on any problems. A telephone brainstorming session (these work really well), and a re-read of the re-written work, plus advice on potential 'markets'

A coaching package could involve regular email and/or telephone calls to check on progress, discussions on motivation/setting targets - (and reaching them), brainstorming sessions, discussions on 'blockages and problems' advice on research problems, market trends etc. etc. - in other words, whatever is needed to get the book moving and finished.
Or simply help with a specific problem - 'my dialogue is flat - what can I do about it ?' 'I hate writing about sex' 'I'm stuck in the middle of my book'
'why won't this work?' Whatever 'hand-holding' you need to get you through you will get it (providing it's legal and decent!)

I've had 30 years of dealing with these problems (I've experienced them all and more - you name that black moment when you feel the book is dire and you hate it - I've been there going on for a couple of hundred times and survived).

My speciality is of course relationship books - and relationships are not limited to the one on one relationships of 'romance' books.

In my writers' group the are people (of both sexes) writing historical fiction, war fiction, sci fi and supernatural, modern younger women's fiction, short stories, and crime.

I cannot and do not guarantee to get unpublished writers published. - But I can and will do everything in my power to help them toward publication, via my own contacts. (I have already mentored one author to publication, plus publishers are currently reading work by two members of my writers group.

The fees for this service will be reasonable, (with discounts for RNA members)

I am still in the stages of setting up this venture - so any comments anyone has to make would be very welcome.

My mission statement is that I want to provide my 'students' with everything they need to reach publication - I can't provide 'talent', but I can and will help you to develop it.

Please email me privately at pennyhalsall@aol.com

More good news

2005-03-16T20:41:00.000Z

Hi everyone - I'm really excited to be able to post that a fellow member of the RNA has very generously donated the cost of a year's membership to the RNA to our comp so that now we have two RNA annual memberships to award. My friend wishes to remain anonymous - but you may be sure that I have thanked her for her wonderful generosity. I can't stress enough how valuable membeship of the RNA is - especially for as yet unpublished authors to whom membership gives the opportunity to enter the New Writers' Comp and have their work evaluated. So please do enter the comp.

My other exciting news is that a good friend of mine, and fellow member of the RNA has been asked to submit her synopses to HMB, PLUS one of the members of our Nantwich Writers Group has been asked to submit 3 chapters to HMB.

I was so impressed by the opening pages she sent to me to read that I read them over the phone to my editor - she was equally excited, so now I am keeping my fingers crossed that this really promising start leads on to publishing success.

Every single member of the Nantwich Writers Group can write - and write well, but as we all know reaching publication depends on more than being able to write - my goal is to advance my group as far along the road to publication as I can, and this is a truly wonderful start.

The RNA University Challenge team are through to the semi finals - they out scored the other teams in their 'block' by over one hundred points, and we celebrated here in Cheshire with a small party - members of the Cheshire Chapter of the RNA, members of the Nantwich Writers Group and Anita Burgh (a well known author who currently lives in the Cotswolds) and her husband Billy who had come up to Manchester to watch the University Challenge show being filmed and who stayed with me over the weekend.

Sheba - Sheba is in big trouble. i was on the phone to my sister the other night and Sheba was lying at my feet, crunching something. Crunching? She had stolen the ornamental butterfly from the hearth, carried it over to
where I was and was happily chewing it. Fortunately I managed to rescue it before either she or it suffered any damage.

Penny

reply to comment

2005-02-22T14:06:00.000Z

Here is my reply to our first comment - just in case it doesn't show up in the comment box 0
Don't worry too much about the word count - I normally get around 240/260 words to the page - I just don't want people to send me in huge amounts of stuff - no more than 4 pages or 2,000 words or so is fine

You can break it down into plot and characters if you wish btw

I am hoping at some stage to put on our Nantwich Writers Group website - not running yet - reports of our activities within the group so that writers outside Nantwich can benefit from what we are doing.

If you have writing friends it may be that you could form your own little group - I am certainly willing to send you the 'stuff' I write for my own group (but not just yet I am on a deadline!!!!)

Stop Press - Competition

2005-02-21T13:22:00.000Z

I have decided to offer the prize of a year's membership to the RNA (commencing either immediately post the announcement of the competition winner or from renewal next January) for the best
full synopsis for a complete 'story' from the details given in my Cirencester Workshop post.

Conditions of entry are

The entries must be sent personally to me at pennyhalsall@aol.com and entrants must agree to have their entries posted here on my weblog, once a winner has been selected.

The closing date for entries will be 3lst May 2005

No entries will be posted until the winner is announced and then all the entries will be posted at the same time. (to prevent any inadvertent copying)

I undertake not to incorporate any of the entries in my own work and not to write a book myself based on the details I have already posted.

The length of a normal synopsis is around 4 pages - double spaced on A4 paper - therefore I am limiting the entries to a maximum of 2,000 words each.

Each entry must contain a complete synopsis of the story to its end and incoprorate the beginning, characters, and other details posted here on my weblog, but it is up to the entrants to write their own 'middles' and 'endings'

Good luck to all of you who decide to enter.

btw every entrant will win out with this competition because it will help you to understand how plotting works.

Penny Jordan

Cirencester Workshop

2005-02-20T13:56:00.000Z

Cirencester Workshop

I gave a brief talk at the RNA's Cirencester one day workship on Saturday 19th February. Time limitations meant that I was unable to deal as fully as I would have liked with this subject, and so, as I promised, I am posting here what I hope will be a more coherent and detailed summary of how I personally plot my novels.

In addition I am adding a tip sheet, a breakdown of how I handle 'beginnings, middles and endings' and the details of the 'book' on which we were working, for those of you who wish to use it as a means of honing your own plotting skills.

If enough peole wish to do so, it may be that we could, via my blog have a small 'plotting forum' from which we could all benefit. Please do feel free to post your comments.

Plotting the mainstream relationship novel.

Tips

Where do I get my ideas - I write relationship based books and I 'find' most of my basic plot ideas from human interest stories in the press.

However, instead of using the 'story' I have read, I simply take the part of it that catches my attention.

I then spend a great deal of mental time thinking about this core issue and what has motivated the principle character within it to act in the way he or she has, and inwardly building up their character profile.

Character profile - before I write I feel I need to know how the main character has developed and why. - To simplify this - a person who hates dogs may have been bitten by a dog as a child - but a more complex explanation could be that a bully tormented them as a child by threatening them with being bitten by a dog - if this character's fear of dogs is going to play a part in our story - we need to know first that they are afraid, and then to be curious enough about why they are afraid to go on reading in order to find out. -

we may simply write "John saw the dog cocking its leg against the lampost and instinctively he crossed the road, to avoid it."

That tells the reader that John had some reason to want to avoid the dog. (or perhaps that John has hygiene issues -maybe he's suffers from a repetitive disorder - this is where we need to get a grip and stop this potential line of thought if it is not what we want for the story - we could do this by cutting out the 'cocking its leg' phrase)

However, if we write "John saw the dog blocking the pavement in front of him and immediately hurried across the road to get away from it" - that tells the reader that John is probably afraid of dogs.

Again if we write, "John could feel the dog watching him; waiting for him, and immediately the familiar feeling of sick panic drenched him with fear induced sweat, whilst his hand went instinctively to the scar on his arm." the reader knows that John is terrified of dogs and was probably bitten by one.

But if we write "Oh John look at that gorgeous dog."
He could feel the sweat drenching him as he tried to react as he knew Suzy expected him to, but his guts felt as though someone was trying to put them through a mincing machine and the images he didn't want to have to see were flashing inside his head in a mercilness slide show that overwhelmed everything else. "

Well then we don't really know anything do we, other than that John is reacting strongly to the sight of a dog - and we are curious to know why - so curious in fact that we want to go on reading.........

Modern books are 'character driven' that is to say the action of the book is driven by the characters rather than imposed on them.

Character driven books require the use of dialogue.

Dialogue - Sarah Duncan a fellow writer and member of the RNA as well as a Creative Writing Teacher has said potently that " dialogue should be used to effect change."

ie "We've been married twenty years this year, I thought we'd do something special to celebrate. Darling are you listening to me?"
"Why should I? You never listen to me. If you did you'd know that this bloody marriage of ours is a total farce. In fact it's so much of a farce that I want out of it. "

Ways of working.

It can help to have a pin board on which you can pin -
your basic plot idea,
biogs for your characters.
relevent stuff - photos, thoughts, evocative words, etc etc.

Plot lines

Main stream novels normally have a word count of anything from 80,000 to 160,000 words. For me to reach this word count I have to develop more than one plot line - you can find an example of how I do this in my novel "Now or Never" . This is the most recent of the mainstream books I have written under the Mira banner, and was plotted exactly as I am describing here.

Secondary characters can have their own plot development within a mainstream novel just so long as they also remain necessary to the ongoing main plot. I always try, via their own individual 'plot' lines to add to the conflict and tension in the main plot

Dividing a large word count into manageable chunks.

Before I start to write my book I have a vague idea of what is going to happen, (although I like it best when the characters take over and drive their own story)

I try to break this up into three major parts

Beginning -
for me this involves setting up an impending crisis situation, introducing the characters, and showing how they interact with one another.
For the purposes of the story line we discussed at the workshop, our main male character, a highly acclaimed and successful head teacher, has been accused by a fifteen year old female student of inappropriate sexual behaviour toward her. He knows he is innocent. His wife loves him and trusts him, and in the first third of our story, we will be establishing his innocence, his interfamily relationships, how the accusation against him, effects them and specifically how it affects our secondary characters (his daugher and her journalist partner and his son, daughter in law and small granddaughter). The reader will see quickly in this first third of the book that he is innocent, but of course matters have to take their course; there is no doubt in any of our minds that he will be exonerated. We are climbing a hill toward the resolutiion of our first conflict, via small conflicts in the subsidiary relationships

We have our reader off guard and feeling safe....

And then - shockingly it comes to light that whist our teacher is innocent of this crime there is a secret in his past which he has kept from his wife.- (breach of trust)

The middle

Immediately here at the beginning of this second third we are upping the stakes, turning the direction of the tension, and giving it a new intensity - I call this the 'breakdown' third - in this third we will see our characters and their relationships put under pressure and fall apart.

The end

I reserve the final third of the book for - resolution - for me that involves the working through of both inner and outer problems and conflicts for the individuals concerned and working toward a new understading of themselves and hopefully ending with the new beginning for which all they have gone through has now equipped them.

My tip

It may help some writers to outline this process for their characters and their individual stories and turn them into a physical jigsaw - that is to say to type out lists of what will happen to each character or pair of characters - cut these up and then past them together to make a workable time frame ie if John has a row with his wife on Thursday night, and we want to leave the reader on a cliff hanger to see how it is resolved, we might start the next chapter on Friday morning but with one of our secondary characters 'Chloe hated Fridays. Fridays meant'

By doing this we can keep the readers on tenterhooks re John and Mary's emotional fight - if need be for a couple of chapters whilst we up date them on what is happening within Chloe and Rick's lives and Lucy and George's lives, before then starting a third chater which could begin, "Mary stared unseeingly at the Sunday papers. She and John still weren't speaking following Thursday night's row."

Sometimes it is also helpful to write down a list of the events/actions/goals you want to reach within a span of say 40,000 words,

ie

Start book
Introduce main characters.
End Chapter One with a cliff hanger
Bring in secondary characters.
Set up secondary charaters' potential future problems
Let readers see cracks in relationships where necessary.
Build up tension by involving characters in crises 1, 2 & 3 then allow main character to devlop a false sense of security.
Aim to finish first 40,000 words having worked toward second and most important 'bombshell' crisis at beginning of second 40,000 words.

Research - I use the nine tenths to one tenth principle with regard to research - that is to say I only allow myself to have openly identifiable and visible in a book one tenth of the research I have done.

Novels that drift sideways into travelogues, 'how to fit a new bathroom' or any other kind of 'look how much i know about this subject' voyage of self indulgence, fill readers with a sense of boredom, and despair.

As a writer you are taking your readers of an exciting journey of discovery , during which they will learn all about your characters, not the hours you have spent trawling web sites for info about every small piece of 'factual' knowledge you needed to give your work the nuts and bolts of its authenticity - of course the readers need to feel that they are in 'safe hands' and to be able to trust you to have done all the research you need to have done, but the art of really good plotting is putting the skeleton that is the firm backbone of a good plot in place so skilfully that you, the writer, can move effortlessly and easily between true fact and your own fiction. It is a very fine line - too little reseach and too much research both jolt the reader out of the magic you are trying to create to hold them into your story.

Think about how you feel as a reader - and what you look for; what makes you compulsively turn page after page as you gobble up a work of fiction.

Yes , if you are going to have someone mixing limewash as a part of the action of your book, it is important that you know exactly how limewash is made, how dangerous lime can be, what natural colouring agents can be used, how unstable it can be, etc. etc. but unless you are writing a book where the exact method and ingredients for this limewash are a vital piece of knowledge the reader will need, it can be enough for you to simply know how to do it, and to say so equally simply. ie "She loved the effect of the traditional limewash she had used to paint the exterior walls to the cottage - "(but bear in mind that traditional limewash needs to breathe and thus cannot be applied over modern paints that may have sealed the exterior wall surface) and that last comment could be taken as an example of too much information, because it makes you think about the limewash rather than the ongoing story. A better way would be to write instead "She applied a fresh coat of limewash......." - Plotting is in part thinking about he 'sense' of your novel and about focusing the readers' attention where yu want ti to be. Ambigious dialogue and statements are to be avoided (unless of course you are writing a thriller).

You, the writer are the team leader, the person who your readers will follow but you must have their confidence that you are fit to lead them.

Basic plot ideas + characters + the all important 'what if' question can take you anywhere you want to go and everywhere you need to go

The 'what if' question is to the fictional novel what the wheel is to civilisation - it empowers you, and it takes you forward into the story. It gives you the freedom to go anywhere and everywhere - it has no limitations

Basic plot + characters+ the equally important 'but why' question provides the nuts and bolts of logic and reason to hold your story together and give it a strong foundation.

You must provide at some stage a valid reason/explanation etc for the way your characters behave.

Pile on the agony/throw the Christians to the lions.

Readers love to see your characters suffer - don't even think of sparing them, instead double and then treble the agony - I can't find my book of quotations but I think it was Confucius who said -
"There is nothing so amusing as to see a friend fall from a high roof"
(I think we may safely assume that Simon Cowell could be a fan of this principle).

Now for the book -

The Cirencester Workshop Day Novel

"The Hanged Man" (the hanged man card in a tarot pack is at face value a sign if not of death then certainly of difficulties - but sometimes it is harder to live than to die and very often it is far more painful)

The basic plot for our book comes from a newspaper headline that read
"Schoolteacher found hanged"

We don't need to read the article because, for the purposes of our plotting it is not of any interest - we are going to create our own 'plot' for why our schoolteacher might want to take his own life.

'But why' would he want to? The most obvious reasons that suggest themselves to me is that he is guilty of a breach of trust - surely the greatest breach of trust from a teacher has to be improper adult behaviour of an adult toward a minor in their care? 'But why' would he do such a thing?

So - as our readers will probably think like us and because we know that there is comfort to be found in the 'obvious reason' let's opt for our teacher being accused of improper behaviour toward a fifteen year old female pupil.

By making her fifteen we've piled on some agony for him - she is underage - but we've also left a small question in the reader's mind - at fifteen some girls can be incredibly sexually aware and sexually adult - sexually but of course not emotionally.

Let's turn now to thinking a bit more about our teacher - we want to raise the stakes as high as we can so that his fall will have the maximum amount impact so,

What if - he is no mere teacher, but a head teacher
The Head Teacher of a very prestigious, but not a private school
What if he is a man who has received great public acclaim.
What if he is a great humanitarian .
And What if he has been held up in the media as an example to others
What if also his methods of teaching are so successful that others seek
to emulate him.
And What if he has extra baggage - and he has come from very humble beginnings and so may have 'something to prove'
So he is not merely a head teacher - he is a icon of a teacher.
He has even received a public award of some kind for his work.

This man has a long long way to fall off that very high roof.

Broadening the plot base
Because we are writing mainstream we need plenty of characters to interact with one another. The easiest way to do this without having to contrive meetings between them is to create a family. (Other easy ways are groups with shared interests, work colleagues, in fact anything that brings them together in a natural way)

So let's give him a wife, a daughter who has a partner, a son who is married and has a young daughter.

Opening Lines - First Impressions Count - How to award yourself double points.

Okay. Now let's think about the all important opening lines and first page - it is very important to grab the readers' attention by the end of the first page. A lesson every category writer learns early.

So why don't we start with the bombshell of our teacher giving his wife the news that he has been suspended

"I've been suspended."

what a great opening line but wait a minute, it doesn't really tell us very much does it and - it is a useful plotting device to contrast high emotional impact with mundane physical activity.

What could be more mundane than his wife unpacking her supermarket shopping whilst chatting about the minutiea of ordinary life?

But, let's just think about this - we know that our teacher is going to be proved innocent of this accusation (because we need that to break the action toward the end of the first part of the book and then to push up the tension by throwing in the 'secret from his past' in the second - But we need to ensure that the readers share our knowledge of our teacher's probity and innocence right from the start so that they don't turn against him.

So - what if we take the action a bit further back in time and set the wife in the supermarket - and what if we use dialogue to inform our readers of the teacher's current situation and to introduce his family

Then our opening lines might go something like this

"Mary, I thought it was you."
Mary tried not to betray her reluctance to engage in conversation with her neighbour as she reached hurriedly for a box of washing powder, and cursed under her breath beneath the cover of the supermaket tanoy system.
"I read the article about John in the Guardian*, praising what he's done for the education system, and saying what an innovative Head Teacher he is. Of course we all know how well thought of it he is and how much his pupils parents' feel they owe him. Reading between the lines the article even seemed to be hinting that some sort of official recognition is in the offing. A government position perhaps?" she probed archly.
When Mary refused to give her the information she was digging for, she retaliated pseudo sweetly, " Such a tremendous achievement especially for someone with his background. I hadn't realised until I read the article that you shared the same working class background, but then I suppose Oxford polished off all John's rough edges."
To Mary's relief her mobile started to ring
"I'm sorry Deena." she cut her neighbour off firmly, before turning away to say far more warmly to her daughter, as she manoevered her trolley further down the aisle.
"Chloe, darling...."
"Hi ma...where are you?"
"Waitrose,* "
Uh huh, buying the fatted calf for tomorrow's party?" she heard Chloe teasing her
Mary laughed
"It's hardly a party, just a family get together to celebrate your dad's * achievement."
"How's dad taking all the media circus fame thing?"
"Oh you know your father.* He says it's all a fuss about nothing and that he's achieved so much because he loves his job so much."
"What time do you want us there ma, only Rick's editor * has sent him off to Brussels to interview some woman who claims she's been providing a call girl service for high profile euro politicians. "
"I'd thought about four in the afternoon. I don't want Lucy to be difficult about coming because of Hannah's bedtime." Mary could feel herself tensing as she spoke her daughter-in-law's name. The birth of Lucy and George's daughter and their own granddaughter four years ago instead of bridging the gap between the two woman had actually deepened it. Lucy was a possessive wife and a possessive mother who seemed to take delight in denying Mary the pleasure of showimg her love for her son and her granddaughter.

"Ma I've got to go... I'll ring you later." Chloe interrupted her hastily .

Via this piece of dialogue we learn several pertinent facts about our main character and his family. And * hopefully subtle research info - ie The Guardian is the paper of the Education fraternity and Waitrose is the supermarket of choice of the Upper Middle Classes.

* dad as opposed to father - dad could imply the speaker was lower middle class - father could imply they were middle class.

* Rick's editor - tells us that Rick is a journalist.

We could then continue thus,

.......................

"I had a near miss in Waitrose," Mary told John as she started to unpack her supermakret shopping. "Dreadful Deena collared me and, but luckily Chloe rang me and so i was able to escape. I wonder if I should have bought another side of salmon, George loves it so much and so does - John" she protested as she saw the way he was seated at the kitchen table, staring into space, "You aren't listening to me."

"I've been suspended."

End of Page One

First third of the book

In the first third of the story we should explore the relationships within the family, establish John's innocence and the support of his legal team (could there be a hint of an extra marital romance here if we need extra story ) so that although the reader is aware of cracks within the family that cause them concern, they still share John's confidence that he will be absolved of any wrong doing - we could if we wanted to make the story 'darker' even bring in the girl accusing him and her family set up - but we must bear in mind that for every extra character/crisis we create we must ultimately find a resolution.

John btw will not commit suicide - but what if his daughter's journalist partner is indirectly the cause of it coming to light that John has a secret in his past unknown even to Mary. In the first year of his teaching
career he was involved with a student - (not underage but let's say 17to his 22) he loved her and had a sexual relationship with her, but was warned off by his head teacher and her parents and he ended the relationship because he felt it was the right thing to do. however she was pregnant at the time and he was never told.......) And what if this leads to friction in Chloe and Rick's relationship. And what if John's daughter in law uses the situation to prevent John and Mary from seeing their granddaughter and to drive a wedge between George and his parents. But why would she want to do this (provide background info) But what if George then leaves her.
....................

I have a heavy work schedule for next week and apologise if the lack of time I have had to do the above has resulted in spelling/editorial/grammatical errors. I do hope what I have posted will help all of you who attended the Workshop with your own plotting and I would love it if those of you who read this and who attended the workshop would like to play around with this story and develop it. - Please do have a go.

One final word about the RNA - I only joined the Association about six years ago, and I have found so much support and help via my co members; including a new pubisher, and an agent - But more importantly i have found soul mates and friends.

Useful other stuff

Sarah Duncan runs a Creative Writing Workshop from Bristol

Kate Walker's 12 Point Guide to Writing Romance -www.studymates.co.uk

Writing the Breakout Book - Donald Maas

www.Lachmuighan.com - a terrific web site for observing good erotic writing

www.Cata-romance.com - an excellent site for help and info re category romance writing. - specifically in the USA

www.NovelistsInc.com- anAmerican site for published novelists

The RNA

I look forward to hearing from you although i shan't have time to post again now until next Sunday.

Penny Jordan

Update

2004-10-31T14:51:00.001Z

Where shall I start?

Three months ago my life felt organised, right now it's in so much chaos I want to go to bed and pull the covers up over my head.

Here's the three months ago scenario.

I'd written and had accepted two of my four scheduled 'Presents' books for the year, and book three was awaiting my editor's admiring homage. That left me with one final 'Presents' to get in pre Christmas.

I was contracted to complete a MIRA mainstream book, but the fizz had gone out of the story and after speaking with my ed we'd agreed that I would shelve it and then start in the new year on a fresh MIRA, which we both agreed we loved.

The final Harpercollins book of the trilogy was due in before christmas - the storyline was agreed and I'd started work on it.

No probs - I'd even turned down the opportunity to write for a new start up publisher just to make sure I had plenty of time.

So what went wrong?

Well...............

On the way back from a visit to see Anne Hampson, in August I received a telephone call from my 'Presents' editor. She hated the book I'd submitted. It was all wrong for what she was looking for (although she did say that the sex was great).

This book was to be the first of 3 connected books with a "footballers wives/celeb/" feel.
Oh and it wasn't just the first two she wanted before Christmas but all three.

Oh.

And then my MIRA editor emailed me and said "I've changed my mind and I'd really like that MIRA we said we'd put to one side, and I'd like it before Christmas."

Ah.

Now, we self emloyed never turn down work do we? And then there'd been that visit from the Harlequin executives pointing out to us that sales are falling and that writers must accept that they weren't going to be able to earn a living.

The message seemed to be that it is not a publishers job to 'keep' a woman author but her husband's.

Oh that's good then, I now earn a quarter of what I once did, my pension fund has been all but wiped out, my endowment policy is worthless, house prices are falling so I can't trade down, and I'm too old and tired to have umpteen offspring and live off the state, which has so generously helped itself my income whilst destroying the value of my assets. And I don't have a husband.

So I've been spending all day, every day re-writing and then re-writing again. Finally the 'Presents' was presentable and the sex, according to my ed. "the best sex I have ever read." (so my memory still works pretty well then.)

I'm now working on the second book. So far I'm thirty odd pages into it. The hero is traditionally sexy and the heroine sort of scatty but modern. Thus far these pages include in addition to the romance, an asexual celeb magazine owner named Dorland, who is aroused only by celebs and their glamorous lifestyle, a guest appearance by a "Rabbit" of Sex and the City fame, large amounts of Crystal champagne and the notorious 'white' stuff, fabulous inherited heirloom jewellery, a hard hearted 'baddie' and a heroine with a shoe fetish, (but not all in the one sentence).

Still to 'come' is the girl on girl sex stuff, (videod of course) the date rape incident, and the heroine's confrontation with the woman who claims her beloved is the father of her expected child.

Personally it will be a relief to write about that crowd of thirty something women who are coming out and saying that sex bores them.

I've worked out that if I work every day from now to Christmas at 12 hours a day I might just get everything finished in time.

I'm still re-working the MIRA book and I must say it is shaping up far better than I'd expected. My real problem was with the 19 year old sister of the main heroine - first time round she was far too unreal and 'limp' .

The third Harpercollins book is coming along very well and I am really pleased with it and with its heroine.

I'm going to a Harper dinner this week - along with some of their other new authors, so that we can meet the buyers for the large chains.

I should have attended this event last year but I was moving on the day of the dinner.

Harper have sent me a list of the other authors - They are all young and gorgeous and very clever - Oh well at least I shall stand out from the crowd.

Nantwich Writers Group

The writers group is coming along really well - they hardly need me now I suspect. Our website should be up and running soon, and I shall keep you informed so that you can view it.

Sheba

Sheba has a mirror phobia left over from her puppyhood when we had regular visits from her identical sibling. The visits had to stop when the two sisters started to fight and no matter how hard to try to re-educate her Sheba persists in believing that that dog in the mirror is Kerry and thus she refuses to walk past any mirrors in which she can see herself.

She has now taken this to idiotic proportions refusing to walk past the TV and glass doors so half the house is shrouded in covers.

The situation became farcical this week when I had to have a major sort out because the house was being photographed preparatory - I hope - to an article on it and me in a magazine. Mirrors and pictures, previously all stacked on the floor with their backs only on show had to be put up to adorn the blank walls - I've tried to deflect some of the trauma by placing vases with those twigs with lights on in front of the worst offenders.

On the plus side

I've received some truly heartwarming emails via my website about my work - these are so much appreciated., and really do mean a lot to me. Thank you.

I have also been contacted via a site that has been set up expressly to help those who are widowed young - under 50 - www.wayfoundation.org.uk - we forget how difficult life must be for the young widowed - I know how hard I find my own life without Steve.

Pentiles

I think this is the name for the star shaped formation in the sky that astrologer Jonathan Cainer has been writing about in the Daily Mail recently.

I am fascinated by astrology - from a historical point of view more than anything else and I would love to know more about the history of these pentiles. We have three, one after the other this autumn - they featured in the charts of both Einstein and Hitler and it seems that the ancients knew far more about them than we do, especially one enlightened Indian (?) ruler -

Are they a symbol/warning of good or bad? - One thing seems clear and that is that we are living in a time of trouble and trauma when traditional ways of life are being broken down -
Some say apparently that the pentile represents the 'female' power and could herald a new era of 'female' values dominating world politics.

If any of you know anything of interest about these pentiles please do email me.

btw Saturn the great taskmaster of the Zodiac features very heavily in my double Sagittarius horoscope, unfortunately for me. Duty, responsibility, and a dull relentless plod through life seems to be my lot.

Hope you are all keeping well - back to work for me. Penny

This widowhood thing and other

2004-08-08T18:48:00.000+01:00

Widowhood

I haven't posted for ages because so much as been going on, and had intended to update today anyway, but having just finished reading the Sunday papers, I was so sparked off by several articles about 'widowhood' that I had to do this first.

The truth is - and all widows know this - that being a widow puts you in 'another place' and very often it's a place you just do not want to be. And that place goes something like this!

Widows constantly mourn their husbands - or at least they should do.

Widows dress in sensible clothes and are content to live quietly.

Widows are grateful for the scraps of normal socialising thrown to
them every now and again by condescending still in pairs.

Widows, when they attend these functions they must at all times behave modestly, ie. they must not go over and talk with the men, even if they are only trying to get past them to get to the bar. Why should they need the bar?

Widows do not drink! And if they do then they are a disgrace and probably alcoholics. Unlike paired women. Paired women who drink, 'need' a drink to help them to cope with all those widows trying to hit on their men!

Widows must at all times when socialising with 'pairs' refrain from doing anything that may draw male attention to them (unless of course a kind friend digs up some decrepit eldery chap for them in which case they MUST be extremely grateful. Yes even if he smells of mothballs!

Widows must not try to snaffle single attractive men at parties - flirting with these men is the prerogative of paired off women.

Widows should remember at all times the modest and rightful demeanour their widowhood enforces on them. ie bent head, dull clothes, and always always when in mixed comany a humble grateful attitude toward their still paired women friends, who now are obviously much higher up the female social scale than they are themselves.

Widows are the new 'poor relation' and should always expect to be treated as such by other un widowed women, when men are around.

Wdows must not laugh out aloud - especially in mixed company. Men might think they could be fun and come and talk to them.

Widows must not say anything even mildly sexy or teasing anywhere within the hearing of an already paired man.

Widows must not accept some partnered male's reckless offer to come round and cut their hedge/fix their car, etc. etc, because they should know that to do so is tantamount to incitement and/or enticement, and not the way for a widow to behave.

BUT on the other hand it is perfectly right and proper and acceptable for a partered woman to offer to cook/wash/shop/make beds/decorate etc. etc. for a widower

Widows must not form a new relationship - why would they want to? They cannot possibly want a new man having lost the one they had.

Widows should not want to have sex and/or a new relationship.

Widowers on the other hand 'need' the comfort and the companionsbip of a new partner. Ahhhh poor things!

Of course all widows, including me have wonderful women friends who certainly do not impose on them any of the above - but believe me there are plenty of women around who do and will.

To be a widow is both to be pitied by Bridget Jones' 'smug marrieds' and at the same time to be expected to submit themselves to a life of semi seclusion.

I read in one of today's newspaper articles a quote from a youngish widow stating that young widows were expected to get over their grief quickly - and yes she is right - one is expected to 'get over it' and not to botthr others with one's grief, but at the same time you are also expected to be satisfied with the half life that widowhood imposes on you.

New Book Launch

had the launch of my new book at the Nantwich Bookshop on Friday - oh but it was sooooo hot!

Writers' Group

I have about five names now of people who want to join the Wrtiers' Group and the room above the bookshp we can have our our meetings is wonderful. The bookshop building dates backto 1536 and this room is panelled with a large leaded window - we shall sit around a round table to work and I can't imagine anyone with any kind of creative instinct not feeling empowered and excited by the air of this room.

Crighton Books

Virtually every week I receive an email from someone asking me when there will be more of these books.

The Crighton family live in a fictionalised version of Nantwich and I love them all so much but the books did not sell well and so HMB will not allow me to write any more. Neither because of my contract am I allowed to do as I wish and that is to publish an ongoing Crighton Family column on my web site - So please those of you who want to read more about the Crightons, - write to my publishers and not to me!

so much to say - so little time

2004-07-16T21:21:00.000+01:00

I don't know where to begin!

The Romantic Novelists Conference in Leicester was excellent. There was a terrifice sense of purpose and unity at the conference, a really great feeling of all of us working together toward a common goal - and that goal was so aptly named RESPECT.

I came away feeling recharged and enthusiastic.

I then spent the following week working on my mainstream title for MIRA books, the plan being that Iwould have it ready to send to my editor before I left on Monday of this week to stay wth a writing friend.

However......The Nantwich Bookshop launch of my second harpercollins book 'Connie's Courage' and the Writers Group I am hoping to set up in my home town of nantwich are planned for Friday 6th August. My writing friends and colleages and others have been invited to both the launch and a small get together I am planning to hold at home the following day so that we can talk about how best we can promote the writers' group. Needless to say organising this bit into my 'working' time.

Then there was the barbecue I attended last - Sunday and the unfortunate effect on my nervous system (not to mention my bank balance) of me letting my car run into the back of another parked vehicle whilst I was trying to park it pre party.

Oh, and I almost forgot, I then managed to somehow hide the whole file on the computer and couldn't find it for over an hour! Major trauma!

So........I submitted the manuscript with the final 100 pages unchecked.

My stay with my friend was wonderful though. Apart from the fact that she is a fabulous cook and I have returned home seven pounds heavier!

Sheba gave me her usual loving welcome, but I have returned to the depressing news, that Harlequin, - one of the two publishers for whom I write, are cutting back on and even closing down some of their lines.

I write for their 'Presents' line which is not affected by the planned changes, at the moment, but many of my friends will be. I am upset that one friend in particular who had almost reached publication with her first book will now have to start looking for another publisher.
We all know that this is the nature of the publishing world, but that does not stop it hurting like hell when it happens.

In this profession no matter how 'good' you are, luck is hugely important - or at least that is what I believe.

I also returned home to find a postcard from an author I met at the Romantic Times Awards Ceremony in New York earlier this year. This author was one of the first 'big' Mills & Boon authors - I was thrilled to meet her and I am hoping to meet up with her whilst she is over in the UK.

Must admit to feeling rather down and lonely this evening. I do miss Steve so very much. When I went to the barbecue last week I was the only person on their own and I did feel self conscious and uncomfortable being there. I try not to dwell on the fact that the reality is that I shall probably live the rest of my live as a single person - (I'm so damned fussy man-wise, and so bloody difficult to live with - I need a cross between Mr. Darcy, and a Saint, ).

A little bit of everything

2004-07-01T20:59:00.000+01:00

Am in mad rush mode this evening as I leave for the RNA conference in Leicester tomorrow morning. As those of you who do not go to conferences have always suspected this really is just an excuse to eat and drink and talk far too much with people who are definitely much too much fun to be with!

No seriously, the RNA does a magnifient job of helping its authors in a wide variety of different ways.

I have actually had a miserable couple of days one way or another - I am still working flat out to finish my mainstream relationship book, having found a major flaw right in the middle.

One of the things writers of 'women's fiction' learn to get used pretty early on in their writing careers is that they do not exist, at least not in public. Society insists that our readers should feel ashamed of reading our books. 'love stories = rubbish' and you shouldn't be caught dead reading them!

But why there is this antipathy toward books about people resolving problems in their emotional lives and then making a commitment to one another, I really do not know. Nor why they should be derided as "rubbish"

Love and the way if affects every facet of our lives is surely something we can all relate to?

But everyone in the country is apparently desperate to read 'lite literature' which is why increasingly you will not find our books prominently displayed on bookshop bookshelves, - we are the read whose name dare not be spoken!

So how come so many of us earn the maximum PLR payment beause of the number of times our books are borrowed from public libararies?

I'm thinking of starting an underground subversive movement - a Society for the Readers of Romance and Proud to Say So.

Scarecrows

Thanks to a fellow member of the RNA,who emailed me, and my next door neighbour I now know that Wrenbury has a website for its scarecrows, and that the annual Scarecrow weekend walk is this coming weekend. The money raised by buying a £1 programme from Wrenbury Post Office goes to support the village school.

Sheepdog Jack

Sheba disappeared last night and I was worried sick - she never goes anywhere without me. I searched the house twice, checked the big garden gates, - nothing. This was at ten in the evening - I couldn't believe it when I went into the garden and saw her sitting by the gate to the paddock.

Harold and Jack had arrived and Sheba obviously didn't want to miss out on the floor show (or sheep dog show)

Harold is a real 'story teller' When training was finished he leaned on his crook and I asked how Jack was coming along
"Well I think I can see signs of something there.....Mind you he's got a hell of a lot to learn..." he answered me.
So it looks as though Jack is staying!

Ah love! Personally I'd rather celebrate it than denigrate it!

Scarecrows

2004-06-28T17:14:00.000+01:00

They are everywhere - including next door to me where overnight there appeared a young man with dreadlocks, a table, two turntables and some LP's!!!

My next door neighbour's son is a disc jockey at a Manchester night club, hence the connection, I imagine.

But what about the others? Passed one today - King Kong complete with pole, from which hung a helicopter with rescuer dangling on a wire, as KK clutched poor heroine. Then in the village, have seen a troup of Morris Dancers, a rugby player, a cricketer, heaven knows how many teddy bears, plus - outside the Post Office of all places, a scarecrow patient in a bed, complete with attendant nurse, and a sign bearing the immortal Sea-side postcard words "It's only a little prick!"

As yet I haven't seen anyone to ask what it's all about - all the Scarecrows have numbers so maybe it's a competition.

Am now thinking seriously of next year and a scarecrow author plus computer.......

Work and Conferences.

I managed to get my Mira book finished this weekend but am now back at the beginning reworking the first 3 chapters, as I had a mega moment of re-plotting. Feels like it will never be finished!

This coming weekend we have the UK RNA Annual Conference in Leicester, and although I can't go for the whole conference, I intend to be there for the Saturday.

For writers, working alone, their get-togethers are a much needed opportunity to be with their own kind. The internet has made a tremendous difference to our lives enabling us all to communicate with one another of course, but to actually sit down and talk (normally all at the same time so that we haven't a clue what anyone else is sayimg) is a tremendous boost to the spirits.

This year for the first time since I joined the American RWA five years ago I am having to miss their annual conference (in Dallas this year), and the Aussie Conference in Sydney as well, much to my disappointment.

Teaching
I'm currently investigating the possibility of training/qualifying in order to teach writing classes, and the help and advice I have received from my email colleages has been terrific.

I'm still not sure at this stage whether or not I shall go ahead with my original plan. In common with many women of my age, I am experiencing a need to 'give something back' to my profession and to 'nurture and nourish' a 'new'generation.

I don't have grandchildren to tuck under my wing and watch grow, so maybe this urge to cluck over and motherhen a few proteges, is nature's way of finding an outlet for that instinct.

On the other hand, I have also noticed how many women in my age group are making career changes, or just simply committing to fufilling 'dreams' they had put on one side.

One particular friend of mine (and not quite as old ) confided to me this weekend that she would love to retrain as a cabinetmaker, and design and make her own bespoke furniture.

My big dream as a young woman was to find a huge old delapidated house (okay then an ancient pile with is own land) and restore it. I must admit I don't yearn for that anymore. Steve, my late husband always wanted to open a donkey sanctuary. Must admit I felt a bit suspicious when, after all the problems with my previous house the only place I coud find to buy with the 2 weeks I had to find somewhere was this house, with its paddock and 3 stables! Oh thank you Stevie!

Nantwich/Bookshop/new Harpercollins book/writers'groupYears ago I wrote a serious for Mills & Boon and Mira set in a fictional town named Haslewich, and in actual fact Haslewich was based on the small market town of Nantwich, where I now live (talk about coincidence)

I am having a small launch for my upcoming second harpercollins release "Connie's Courage" in Nantwich's bookshop on Friday 6th August (a tea party!) and the bookshop owner has offered me the use of an upstairs room there for the writers group I am hoping to establish.

A little ominously, when I called to see him today he asked me if "Chris" had been in touch, explaining that it was about literature.
My heart always sinks when I hear that word, because I expect the next few words to be a contemptuous dismissal of my own work - however, it seems that "Chris" is thinking about organising a Literary Festival in Nantwich, not joining my writers' group in order to put me down (sorry Chris!).

He hasn't ben in touch yet, but I hope I do hear from him. I am supposed to be speaking at Chester's Literary Festival on 9th October courtesy of Chester's lovely Tourism Manager, although heaven knows what I am going to say, and it had occured to me that next year maybe I could persuade him, to let me showcase the talents of my Writers' Group there.

Sheepdog Jack

Weather was too miserable last week to go out much but I did see Harold and Jack working in the paddock from my bedroom window, so at least Jack is still here - I haven't seen him for a few days though,and his probation period will be up now! Oh I do hope that Harold keeps him!

Okay, back to work now! (sigh!)

Penny

Bitch and Boast

2004-06-23T11:14:00.000+01:00

My TFG has suggested that instead of starting up a messageboard I can have a comments area here on my blog, so from today you can if you wish let off a bit of steam with an anonymous (or not) 'BITCH OR BOAST'- both of a serious nature or more in fun.

And of course you can post comments on other issues related to my diary if you wish.

As a widow I am particlarly interested in communicating with other people who have suffered the death of someone close, and in providing somewhere for us to express those feelings we can't always express in public.

I was very fortunate in the early days of my own widowhood in that a fellow author on one of my loops, who had been widowed a year ahead of me, took me under her wing so to speak.

It is so much easier to follow in the tracks someone else has made and to know they are there ahead of you encouraging you on.

Penny

BITCH OR BOAST

WR has a face that sometimes looks like a squashed tomato
He is also just about the best football player in the world!

Light bulb moment

2004-06-23T10:13:00.000+01:00

Have just had an idea for an entertaining website/blog - the 'no holds barred' kind on which others can post their own comments, and nothing to do with my writing.

Am hoping that my TFG (Wendy Woo) will be able to sort me out with the necessary techie stuff! I've got the title and the first post on hold in my head.

Current book is over the trauma of the build up to the 'denoument' now and I am on the straight fast run to the end - I always find this a bit of a thrill - all that speed, and then that unexpected dangerous bend one hasn't allowed for, and which could throw the whole thing and cause a major disaster.

Come on though ending - I'm already gearing up for the excitement of a new book and a new start.

AND I've found the perfect paint for the bedroom!

I'm going to have lunch with a neighbour today. She's a designer in metals and she is holding a display of her work this weekend, so I think champagne might be a good idea pre lunch!

THE SCARECROWS ARE STILL COMING - It says so on a sign at the end of the road. I must ask her what on earth this means!

Interestingly (to me at least) her house was used to hold internees during the Second World War. My upcoming sagas are set in that period, so I must find out a little bit more!

For me one of the really enjoyable parts of my writing is the research. Trouble is I get so involved in it, that what I'm supposed to be looking for gets overlooked.

Penny

Sad little moment

2004-06-22T21:46:00.000+01:00

Went over to my old home village today mainly to go to the dentist - Whilst I was there though I thought I'd go and visit Steve to say 'hello'

At first after his death I couldn't bear to go anywhere near the graveyard,, and then I couldn't bear to stay away - our village church has a closed graveyard which means no new burials unless one already owns a plot, but it was possible to have Steve's ashes buried there and a stone set in the ground.

What I hadn't realised though was that the ashes would be buried in a small coffin shaped casket nor that the burial of them woud be conductd as though it had been his body - foolishly I went on my own - so it was just me, Steve the Vicar and the undertaker -

However the graveyard itself is genuinely a place of great peace. I am not religious but it is immpossible not to be aware of the faith of so many generations of worshippers and believers and that in itself offers comfort.

Now my visits are more relaxed - i talk to Steve all the time at home so I don't need the graveyard to feel close to him, and in fact I no longer really feel him there anyway.

I made a promise both to him and to myself when he died that I would try to celebrate his life rather than to mourn his death and that I would carry him with me in my thoughts and in my heart.

It was such a lovely sunny day today and the grass around the graves had just been mowed. I noticed a new stone three down from Steve's a man born in 1924 -

Penny

Harpercollins Party & Other

2004-06-20T19:34:00.000+01:00

Went to the Harpercollins Summer party on Thursday evening. The 'do' was held in two gorgeous - well it would be an insult to them to describe them as mere marquees!- these were Maharishi style pavilions designed originally I think for the hugely posh Serpentine Gallery party held on the previous evening and hosted by the somewhat bling bling designer Roberto Cavelli.

Unlike Mr.Cavelli's clothes though the 'tents' were simple and restrained - white muslin type fabric, with a border embroidered with gold elephants. There was some low silk cushioned seating in bright rich colours, and prettilly coloured candle lanterns for when it got dark. Sensibly outside gas patio type heaters had also been provided and were on - it was a very cold evening.

One tent had a dance floor and a stage the other a sort of seagrass type flooring.

On arrival we were all given name badges - red for authors, blue for agents and green for Harper staff. Press did not wear badges!

I don't know who provided the catering but suspect it must have been some outfit very of the moment - we were welcomed with champagne cocktails - either rhubarb(?) (which had a peppery taste) or peach bellini. The champagne flowed extremely generously - I stopped having my glass filled when I discovered that my lips had quite unacocuntably gone numb! (brain had turned numb several drinks earlier)

The food was yummy and served charmingly & professionally by the young waiters and waitresses - again chef must have been someone v. trendy as the the chocolate covered icecream lollipops were filled with pepper flavoured icecream.

(am just realising that sound frighteningly like elderly person who used to write Jennifer's Diary! and it gets worse!)

Everyone was extremely suitably and smartly dressed - not a bare torso or piece of denim in sight!

Didn't see anyone famous other than Jon Snow (and only from a distance as there were so very many people there)

Did have a chat with fellow RNA author Anne Bennett though.

Met Harper UK's CEO who went round introducing herself to everyone - in her speech she mentioned the fact that Harper's American CEO was there along with Lachlan Murdoch who had arrived unexpectedly Made me wonder if LM had attended the Serpentive Gallery do the night before. CEO also made a joke about some famous harper authors not being able to attend (David Beckham et al)

Must admit I felt a little bit lost at first as the only people I knew where my ed and her Senior Ed. In many ways it was very similar to the Harlequin parties I have attended - the attention to detail, the excellent food and drink - the care taken by the CEO to meet the authors, but in others it was very different, and I did miss the warmth and family atmosphere of being with my fellow M &^ B authors. Of course that could just be because I have been with Harlequin for so very long and know so many people.

All in all a very enjoyable and glamorous evening!

New Contracts & work

I had been rather nervous pre the party as I was due to meet with my Ed and the Senior Ed to discuss my new contract. I'm used to working closely with my editors and was relieved whenn the Senior Ed wanted to go through what she was looking for for the new contract. This has now given me a definite frame to work within and one which I feel comfortable with.

I'm now in the fortunate position of knowing exactly where I am going with my next 3 short series books for M & B, next year's MIRA book for Harlequin and now my next 4 books for Harper.

Discussing new work always leaves me feeling very drained though, and this is the time when I miss my late husband Steve so very much. I always used to go through with him what was said, what was going to happen, how I felt about it, etc. etc.

I can't speak for other authors but for me the insecurity of worrying about my work is always there. Both Harper eds though were very kind about my work and that gave me a real boost.

One of the reasons I haven't posted here earlier is because I am busily typing out brief outlines for the new contract.

By happy chance a fellow author was also in London, so we managed to meet up and have coffee together in Harvey Nicks . We hadn't met before although we have exchanged many emails and we were both a little bit nervous - however all went well. I had mentioned on one of the email loops that I was considering trying to start 'teaching' and she had brought me a small book - brown paper cover decorated with a shiny red apple - containing quotes from people about their teachers.

Maths never was my strongest subject which is no doubt why I can never understand why I return from any stay away from home having gained at least 2lbs of weight per day - how does that happen?

Family

Ominously when I telephoned my mother from London on Friday morning and told her that I would be going to see her and my father on Sunday, she told me that she hadn't expected me to do so and moreover that she thought it would be too much for me what with me just getting back from London... I am not my mother's daughter for nothing - Alarm bells started to ring! What was she trying to hide?

Sure enough when i arrived at my parents' house this morning it was to discover that my mother has a huge scab on her forehead and another on her nose (my parents who are in their mid eighties still run a small garden centre having refused to give in to the combined pleas of me, my brother and my sister to retire gracefully)
Mother had slipped on a paving slab!

Brother was also at parents and had a lovely photo of his first grandchild - this litte boy was born with a hare lip and has just had his second operation - he has the most beautiful smile now and won't need another until he is nine.

Had been concerned when I left home as Sheba had to have new dogsitters this time and whilst I liked Betty and Brian I felt that Betty was a bit nervous with Sheba.

Returned home to find Betty and Brian wreathed in smiles, and full of praise for Sheba - Brian wanted to take her home with them and Betty commented on what a loving dog she is. (So she didnt eat the postman then as I warned them she might!)

Shepherd and sheepdog

Harold the shepherd who trains his sheep dog in my small paddock is a natural storyteller, and | could listen to him for hours. I am anxious for a happy ending for the current saga though - Harold has just been given his six month all clear from cancer - when he was first diagnosed he decided to rehome his two collie dog puppies from his working bitch Jess.

Jess is now seven and he considers her too old to have more pups - she has some arthritis and is a lovely and obviously much loved dog. However now that Harold is so much better he wants to get back into trial work. He has on loan a new young dog - Jack - and Jack's future is still not decided!

Jack has improved from his first mad rushing about behind the sheep to a more quiet thinking manner but Harold just has a feeling about him that something maybe wrong with him physically (a weak hip maybe) I feel so anxious for Jack who has obviously bonded with Harold - poor dog - what will hapen to him? Haven't seen Harold since I got home but I think this week is decision week so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Also returned home to find huge sign at the end of the road (The Scarecrows are coming - 4th July"

Mmmmmm!!!!!!!

Home

Put first coat of specially chosen and mixed Farrow and Ball paint on spare bedroom wall tonight and it is ..........hideous!!!!!!!
This house faces south west and the light coming in through the windows has a strong effect on colour - my main sitting room walls had ten coats of paint in three different shades of cream before I finally gave up and decided that well yes pale yellow was what i wanted! And I can still see the original lilac through the cream paint on my bedroom walls!

Off now to do some more work for new contract.

Life

2004-06-16T17:17:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone,

Welcome to my weblog diary. Sharing the ups and downs of my day to day life as a writer with you has been something I've wanted to do for ages. Unfortunately my techie skills have simply not been up to it. But - enter stage left my Techie Fairy Godmother in the shape of the Wonderful Wendy Woo,and here I am!

First a bit about me. Some of you may already have read some of this and if so, please bear with me, whilst I give a brief resumee of where my life is today for those who haven't.

I've been writing for Mills & Boon for over twenty five years. Three years ago I started to write Northern Sagas for Harper Collins as well, but in 2002 the familiar comfortable pattern of my life changed for ever when my husband Steve was diagnosed with terminal oral cancer.

I won't dwell here on Steve's suffering other than to say that he was brave and kind and gentle and I loved him and I will always miss him.

Experiencing life as a widow - and by that I mean the way I live my life or rather am allowed to live it, rather than my life without Steve, has has taken me into a world I never knew existed. That is the world of the woman alone. This is not a good world to be in! It's a world where people have set ideas and expectations of how a widow should behave; it's a world where some people believe a woman alone is vulnerable and therefore a soft target. In short it's a world were astonishingly a woman of a certain age alone is considered to be a 'second class citizen'

Luckily I have my friends and my work.
But prepare to find me letting off steam about this subject from time to time!

I don't have any children sadly but I do have a cat - Posh and a dog - Sheba.

I still have days - many of them - when I wake up to wonder why I have had to wake up to a world without my Steve in it with me - but there are fewer of them now.

And life is not all dark moments of loss - tomorrow for instance I am going to London to attend the Harpercollins Summer Party at the Serpentine Gallery. Ooh er!!!!!

As a very very junior Harper author, I am dying to get a chance to gawp at the really big literary stars who will be there, and of course I shall be reporting to you on the whole event.

For now though I have to go and (a) find something to wear that atually fits (what is it about being post menopausal that adds so many inches to the body?) (b) pack my case somewhere where Sheba can't see it, and (c) clean the house ready for Sheba's dog sitters to come and stay.

second test

2004-06-15T11:00:00.000+01:00

second test

first test post

2004-06-15T10:51:00.000+01:00

this is the first test post